A Call to Live Magnanimously 

Discovering the ‘Let Them’ Theory 

In recent weeks, I have had several people share their interest in the “Let Them Theory” popularized by Mel Robbins. Of course, this piqued my interest, and I decided to investigate it further. Naturally, I listened or read through the lens of virtue, and I easily recognize how this can be adapted to living virtue. In fact, it would be a fuller path to interior freedom if embraced this way.  

A Virtuous Lens: Reframing the Theory 

I must admit that when I learn about these theories that people have developed, I draw upon the Word of God and the wisdom of the saints. For example, Jesus taught us how to respond to those who may not accept us or seek to exclude us: Shake the dust from your feet and move to the next village. Or, to put the “Let Them Theory” in a Christian perspective: “Let them judge me and reject me and let me acknowledge my hurt and let go of trying to please or be accepted.” Notice that this response has a sense of agency and not passivity.  

St. Therese and the Little Way of Love 

The virtue of magnanimity is what enables us to live with an interior attitude of rising above or responding with confidence. It protects us from being passive or falling into self-pity. While the idea of doing “great things” is often associated with magnanimity, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that the little things don’t count. St. Therese the Little Flower showed us the “little way,” which became second nature to her: doing the little things with great love. She lived and modeled for us the “Let Them Theory” over a century ago. For example, the sister who annoyed her the most thought she was Therese’s best friend. “Let (them) her be who she is and let me respond in love to her.” Or the annoyance of a sister constantly rattling her rosary beads—“Let (them) her continue and let me patiently endure this annoyance.” When we can embrace these situations through the eyes of faith, the natural events become supernatural, and our worldview or perspective changes with God’s grace and help; we freely choose to order our actions and responses toward the good.  

The Power of Choice  

St. Therese could have easily, and perhaps with good reason, confronted the sister who unknowingly splashing water in Therese’s face. However, she freely decided to allow her feelings or emotions to be lifted up by virtue for a greater purpose (see CCC 1768). This is just one example of the millions of ways each of us can live magnanimously every day. We have a glimpse into the life of this saint because her superior told her to write an autobiography entitled Story of a Soul.  

Living with Great Love 

Our path to holiness is in the little ways that are in front of us every day. The “Let Them Theory” is a natural way to live what all of us, as baptized Christians, are called to live. May we seek the intercession of St. Therese to live magnanimously and do the little things with great love.